This was a week of blah. There are times when the stories and the events seem to smack me from each direction and I have to wonder what is the point. Whether it be the stupid things that I do that stop me from getting the sleep I need or suck energy from within, or the stupidity of structures, or the sites of malnourished children amongst the plentitude of food, or the stories of god being rammed down the throats of people, or leaders telling people not to question them because god has put them in place and therefore they are immune, or seeing children with no clothes, or children telling stories of rape, abandonment, death, or seeing children walking around with RPGs and rocket launchers, or stories of pastors stealing money and no one speaking up because they are immune – at times, it just hits me and I wonder.
I have to wonder where is god, where is humanity, where is the goodness that counteracts evil. I can understand full well where the evil comes from for it is inside of me, for I can if I sit back and reflect, that the gross-ness of what I see, what I hear, is frankly within me, perhaps to differing degrees. And I have to admit that no one is born and dreams of raping people, destorying families, being an alcoholic or a drug addict, but it happens and bits of it is within me. So I wonder where is this god that we talk about, that we hear about in sunday school, church, or gets screamed about in evagelistic rallies, the one that is apparently all powerful, and will solve all our problems if we follow a certain set of rules and don’t question the leaders. Perhaps, just perhaps, that god doesn’t exist. Perhaps Nietzche was right, god is dead. Perhaps that which we are taught, hold on to, believe, and kill for, is wrong. Perhaps it’s not so important. Perhaps grace is. Perhaps the grace that is inside of me and us all is what is needed to counteract the evil in us all. Perhaps as that grace is nurtured and extended to others, the evil fades.
I like the words of Bruce Springsteen. Words that for me have become a prayer ever since they were shared with me by Phil – Phil one who I love dearly and is a source of joy for me. The words of Bruce are as follows – May your strength give us strength, may your faith give us faith, may your hope give us hope, may your love give us love, May your strength give us strength, may your faith give us faith, may your hope give us hope, may your love give us love, May your strength give us strength, may your faith give us faith, may your hope give us hope, may your love bring us love.
on the one hand, it not about me or us at all, it is about the other, and at the same time it is all about me and us. Life is paradox that we need to hold in balance and embrace with our whole being and stop trying to make excuses or escape
u remind me of a friend…..of how this friend must have felt once upon a time, and even now too: http://www.onesolitarylifemovie.com/ ……you are not alone.
“For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.” yet, “wisdom is better than folly, just as light is better than darkness.” Ecc1:18; 2:13
Someone (George MacDonald) once said “All Things are Possible with God, but All Things are not easy. Divine history shows how hard.”
The Slowness of the New Creation – the world was redeemed in a few men to begin with, so the soul is redeemed in a few of its thoughts, and works, and ways to begin with: it takes a long time to finish the new creation of this redemption (GM)
Perhaps that’s where God’s way differs from men…when men want quick results, they go to war….they can’t wait, they rape? I dunno…just random thoughts on the parallels of violent acts in our insane world. And in choosing to live in denial – a coping mechanism, to avoid the pain of reality?
Thank you for sharing your journey this way, and challenging this friend of yours (me) to live out of her comfort zone. You are in one real tough place…..more prayers over you and folks over there.