The story we tell ourselves is the most powerful story there is. Often we think the story is only in our head, playing only for us. And yet, it shapes and impacts every area of our lives. Most of the story is often unkind and negative.
Queer Eye is a TV show in which 5 gay guys give makeovers – hair, fashion, food, culture, and living space design – to people who have been nominated by a friend or family member. In the process, various social barriers are also addressed.
Given that it is a TV show, there is a formula. At one point in the episode there will be a moment or moments where there is a conversation about self-worth, self-care, self-love, etc. A moment where the person receiving the makeover admits the story s/he is telling her/himself is that s/he is not worth it for some reason. This is one of the reasons Queer Eye works is because it tells the universal human story that viewers can identify with, can connect with.
Most of us are not on TV or in the makeover business. But all of us are in the change business and one of the critical parts of change (in ourselves or in the organisations where we work) are the stories we tell ourselves. The human story creates connection and trust; we reduce our ‘otherness’ a little.
As we seek to change organisations, the more we acknowledge the story in people’s head – the one of fear, of not being good enough – and connect with it, the more likely they will be willing to hear us.