by | Apr 30, 2022 | Change, Learning |


‘She’s just so…decisive, confident, and clear. And I am nervous because I know I won’t be that way.’

These words were shared with me this week in a discussion with a brilliant person moving into a new role. The new role is a big change for her, others are confident she can do it, but she is anxious. She is comparing herself to the person who doing the role now. And she is correct, she is not her. She has a different personality, her approach to management, to design, to work is different. And that’s ok. We spent most of our time together thinking about who she is, how she manages, and what she brings to the role. She can and will suceed when she brings her whole self to work and doesn’t try to be someone else.

Comparison can be useful for learning. We see how others approach challenges, interactions, innovation and we learn from them. Comparison can lead us to asking the wonderful why question. Why do you do it that way? Not in a negative, demeaning or angry way, but a genuine curiousity way. Comparison can be inspiring.

But comparison can also be debilitating. It can leads us to a place of not accepting who we are but trying to be someone we are not. This is unhealthy.

So no, you do not need to be someone else. You can be you. You may need to stop doing things you are currently doing and learn some new things. But you are you. Embrace it. Know yourself and be yourself in the role. Everyone else is taken.

Well, at least, that’s what I told her.

What would you have said?

Photo by Dietmar Becker


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