Conversations don’t always go well the first time. Sometimes they cause anger, pain, frustration and hurt. And it is easy to walk away and not engage ever again.

The thing about change is that it is about people. Yes, there are systems, culture, technology, processes and so on involved. But through it all, there are people. People’s stories, their egos, their identity. And change touches on this. Change alters the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and our place in the world.

And this can be hard.

So conversations don’t always goes well the first time around. Sometimes it’s our approach, their reaction, or our reaction to their reaction and so on. And through it all, we are human. Everyone involved are human. And humans have emotions and don’t always approach things the best way the first time around.

Change makers have a choice when things don’t go the way we want them to. We can walk away. We can blame the other. Or we can reflect and try again with a different approach. We can recognise that the reaction to change is often related to the uncertainty in one’s identity in the ‘new world’.

So yes, conversations don’t always go well the first time. Sometimes it takes two or three tries, with lots of listening and empathy inbetween.

What conversation do you need to have again?

Photo by Harli Marten