Our son drove the tractor lawn mower by himself for the first time this weekend. He mowed some of our grass and used it with the trailer to haul in wood. It was a proud Dad moment.
His reaction at one point was ‘Dad, can you do the reversing because I’m not good at that.’ He’s 8.
My reaction was ‘Of course I can. And please remember no one is good at things they do the first time. We all get better when we try and then keep trying.’
Later in the day, he tried reversing. Then tried again. And again. He was beaming by the end. ‘Maybe next time, I’ll try reversing with the trailier!’ Another proud Dad moment.
We all often don’t try a new thing because we’ve never done it before. We fear failure, but more than that we fear shame. The shame of others laughing at us when we try something and it doesn’t go well. It doesn’t matter if you are 8, 38, or 98. We don’t like shame.
One of the most critical roles of change makers is creating spaces where shame is not allowed. Spaces where people can try something new and are applauded for trying, not the result. Change requires doing new things. And new things are new because we haven’t done them before. And no one is an expert or the ‘best in the world’ at something they do for the first time. The first time is always clunky, jerky, slow, messy, and often a bit ‘ugly’.
This is not rocket science. So why do we expect different from ourselves or others?
Do it the first time. Then do it again. And again. And again.
Photo by Erik Mclean
Do it the first time. Then repeat it daily until it becomes habit.
Apparently only takes 30 days for it to become routine