Feeling like a fraud, a fake. Like you are going to be found out to not know everything. Knowing that you don’t have the answer, the solution, or even why it is not working.

Some of us turn this into self hatred. We call ourselves names, berate ourselves. We heap shame upon shame on ourselves.

Some of us say ‘I don’t know’ and then quit, give up, walk away, hand in our resignation. We crumble.

Some of us do all of the above and more.

But some of us feel inadequate, worry, and even aspects of shame and choose a different path. We say ‘I don’t know’ but follow it up with ‘but we can try to figure it out together.’ And sometimes we figure out and sometimes we don’t.

Often the imposter syndrome is a realisation that we are not yet who we want to be. Not that we are not who others expect us to be (we rarely ask others what they expect of us, we tend to assume this and assume incorrectly). We also tend to expect of ourselves to be a vending machine of answers rather than a convener of people and ideas.

Most days I feel like an imposter and a fraud. When I am unhealthy I tend to respond by retreating into shame. In my more healthy moments, I respond with convening.

How are you responding today?

Photo by Sammy Williams