New eyes

by | Aug 13, 2008 | Uncategorized

I spent the last three days in London – I had some meetings and thinking that I would crash as well, decided to stay in London for a few days.  The crash never happened and I found my mind going into hyper-drive as I walked the streets, sat in cafes, shopped, and tried to relax.  One of the big things that I noticed about myself is how I walked around and compared myself to others or at least what I suspected of others.  Frankly, coming out of the Congo where things certainly were not lovely, you would think that I would be much more thankful for what I have, where I live, and the things that I get to do.  Yet, I found myself questioning my life and what I was doing with it, wishing that I had different things that others have (a house, a car, a family, etc.) rather than being grateful for what I do have.  Life, and human beings, is/are interesting.  London is full of wealth, full of promises, full of many things, and I found myself quickly sucked into the thinking that I am not doing enough with my life, I am not using the gifts I have to their fullest, that I am not making money like I should be, and that I am simply not good enough.  

What an entrance back into life in the UK!  Rather gloomy and down if you ask me.  Yet I don’t think it is that uncommon.  We are taught to fear and that we are not good enough from a very early age and it is re-enforced often.  It is rather grace-less living and frankly not all that fun.  It is time to give up comparing, give up whining, and time to move on and into grace.


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